How I wish

How I wish I could tell her that I love her.
How I wish I could forget everything in her embrace.
How I wish I could tell her that I miss her.
How I wish I could soak myself in her affection.

How I wish I could tell her that she is the one.
How I wish I could travel back to what it was.
How I wish I could tell her that she shouldn’t have gone.
How I wish I could cajole her into what she used to be.

How I wish I could tell her that we were amazing together.
How I wish I could live those moments again, and again.
How I wish I could tell her that we shouldn’t have parted.
How I wish I could erase those moments once, forever.

Seems Music

So distant it was
It seemed small
A granule could be a hulk
Lest it appeared simple
It burned a fascination
And plucked it shall be
Before any does

Beautiful it appeared
As the dreams built on
Could have been no better
The passion set on fire
It choked the whole inside
And the destiny it became
Before there could be another

A long wait it was, is
Time to see in place
Yearned to hear every tick
There were the dreams
And the ever changing shadows
Seems like it asks more
Yet it seems music

Time to Realize

Few appreciate
Few discern
Yet several censure
Heard they say it won’t go the distance
Heard they say it isn’t reliable
Heard they say it is no wise
For they realize not who rides it

There is no appreciation
Neither is there discernment
All that exists is a strong censure
Heard it says it isn’t the path
Heard it says it has no strength
Heard it says it is no sanity
For they realize not whose road is it

Few realize
Few admire
Yet several quetch
Heard they say it is ridiculous
Heard they say it is madness
Heard they say it is time to act sane
For they realize not whose journey is it

Need no realization
Need no admiration
Need no appreciation
Need no consideration
For it has never been asked for
Would want not sequestrate
Neither complain nor censure
For time it is to realize whose life it is

November 2005

Expectation, Frustration, and Pain

One’s pain is as good as the expectations are. Frustration seems to creep in, when people act different from what you expect them to.

Why is it that we meet thousands and barely few turn close associates / friends and the rest are never in the same league? There might be several reasons and none. It might be attitudes, thoughts, or chemistry as one would want to name it. Call it whatever, some thing drives us to choose few and call them special, who at times turn friends.

This is where it all begins. A promotion as a friend inadvertently raises expectations. There cannot be a bigger sin, for all the patience that we put up with a stranger vanishes with someone close. With them we would rather show our frustration than try reason it. We get frustrated easily with those whom we term close rather than the others. It might be the sense of belongingness, which lets vent frustrations. However, does this seem a reason enough? Why be frustrated with those who are special?

This is where it all ends. It might seem natural to expect them to be what you want them to be. How convenient is it to forget that we do not attempt to be what they want us to be?

February, 2006.

60 hours of Nirvana

Calangute, Candolim, Baga Beach, Tito’s, Arpora, Saturday night bazaar, Anjuna, Vagator, 24 hour Restaurant @ Calangute, Panjim, Dona Paula, Cida de Goa, Miramar, Fort Aguada, and Bob’s.

The beaches, the white (?) sand, the Sunset, the rivers, the forts, the booze bars, and the bikinis. What do I talk about and not? Every name that comes across in the mind throws a memory, 60 hours in Paradise.

It did come to an end when we moved out on Monday, 5th of March. Each of us longed to stay back. We blamed our organizations that they don’t have an office at Goa and hit the road. 3 days after the journey begun, we headed back home in a different route and the road this time gave us absolute nightmares. But, I need to catch some sleep before I can write anything about it.

Finally

Two traffic cops, endless bad roads, one flat wheel, and several confusing roads later, 18 hours is what it took us to complete the journey and finally, we did arrive at the destination, Calangute at 2 AM. Being midnight, a deserted place is what we expected and all that on the mind was to find a place to crash. A deserted place it was only until we reached the town.

Calangute at night is a jaw dropping beauty; the beach on one side at its violent tide and the town on another bustling with activity. Making the town even more interesting are several beautiful girls (unfortunately with several guys ;-) Even before we managed a place to stay, even before we spent an hour, the three of us decided this really is the place to be and we were going back for Christmas this year.

The fatigue from the drive kicked us and abused us to set out the plans later and instead find a room. It turned out to be the most difficult affair, being the weekend. Rooms were either not vacant or over priced, that was until we met a savior, who got us a beautiful room near the beach. Once in the room, the long drive took its toll as I slipped into sleep as soon as I tossed myself onto the bed.

A viagem a Goa

I never complain of waking up early on a holiday, for I never wake up early. 2nd March however, was different. It took a single wake up call from Vicky. Kiran reached my place even before I was ready; Vicky arrived in another 10 minutes, and our journey began. I told the guys that we could beat the distance in 12 hours.

When we stopped for Coffee and Samosa at Secuderabad Railway Station, we did not expect it be our best food for the next 15 hours. Having consulted road maps and people, we chose the Solapur way expecting it to be the better option. We were wrong and the road was an absolute nightmare until 45 KM away from Hyderabad. At the first sight of a drivable road we had our share of sighs of relief and stopped by a road side restaurant for breakfast. And the breakfast made us wonder why we chose to eat at all; putting everything aside we continued our journey and reached Solapur.

Solapur was where the real fun began starting from the chance encounter with a traffic cop. Apart from the balderdash he served out, he managed to snatch away Rs. 500 and involuntarily billions of abuses and curses from the three of us. And another cop led us to a restaurant, supposedly the best in Solapur, which would make any westerner make better rotis and Paneer.

The drive to Solapur was just the beginning. The road from Solapur is absolute dynamite and I cannot stop boasting of my maneuvering skills. City after city, we crossed to realize that the destination is still away. 12 hours from when we begun the journey, we were 300 KM away from Goa.

Meanwhile, the stomachs hurt with pangs of hunger. Finally, we did manage to find a place at Nippani that serves decent food. We did not know what lied ahead when we had dinner. Wasting no further time, we set towards Goa immediately after dinner and 5 KM away from the Highway, we found ourselves in total darkness, with the car being the only source of light and trace of civilization for miles away.

What we were not told was that the way to Goa from Nippani passes through a forest in a hilly area. Terrain in the night; the journey was turning out to be nothing short of an adventure. Minimum civilization and maximum nature; this part of the journey turned out to be the best as we passed through the seemingly unpolluted terrains of Amboli. Finally, we did have something to cheer about when we entered the Goan border at about 1 AM.

The Prelude

It all started with a message from Vicky. The initial plan was to find a get away from Hyderabad for the weekend. Not being one who would want anything normal, I enquired his willingness for a road trip. Being the one who is always willing, Vicky showed the enthusiasm I wanted. I blackmailed Kiran into the trip successfully, yet again.

A good search for places near Hyderabad has thrown many options. Couple of visits to the Tourism office and many visits to several websites later we zeroed in on Vizag. Vizag it was when I packed and slept on the night of Thursday, 1st March at 10 PM. 10.45 PM in the night I receive a call, a call from Vicky.

Vicky: Arre, Vizag is 1400 km return trip.
Me: Yeah. We did calculate that before.
Vicky: Why not try some other place within that distance?
Me: Like
Vicky: Goa or Maddikeri.

I kicked myself and woke up. It was turning out to be more interesting than I anticipated it to be. A quick conference with Vicky and Kiran and few calls later, we chose Goa, good 5 hours before the journey would begin. Goa, the land of beaches, the land of rivers, and most importantly the land of phirang babes, it was. I tried sleeping salivating about what was to come and the drive I expected on the 4 Lane road I was told about.