Imperfect?

To begin with, I do not have a split personality. The split does not exist but certain traits do.

For a guy who loves adrenalin pumping adventures and races, I am afraid of climbing trees. For a guy who loves to dance and being flexible I am hardly athletic and strong. For a guy who is aggressive and optimistic, I often get bored with things and people. And if I talk of the behaviour, interests, and hobbies, which would prove their polarity, the opening statement might look untrue.

But, it is how I have been, I am and perhaps, I would be. I have tried to probe to find what exactly am I. One day the realization dawned upon me, I am yet another guy who is imperfect, imperfect to perfect what I do, for perfection has always led to boredom. Imperfection has been the most exciting thing, for it leaves a room to be to be adventurous, to be aggressive, to be optimistic, to do more. And where there is no room left, it is filled with boredom. Well, is it that Perfection = boredom? I get bored but I get bored of being bored and hence, I am imperfect.

Boredom

If a thing that causes worry is called a problem, Yes, I have problems. But, none infact worry me. Not the fact the my personal reserves are going down as fast as sand, and not even the fact that my best girl friend, my love talks to me as much George Bush talks to Fidel Castro.

What worries me is boredom. I am bored by more than many a things that exist around me. This is not the first time it has happened, but the urge of not being bored does not seem strong. I have people around me, few of them who care about me and many of them who do not. The one who could always drive away the boredom was bored of being around and joined those who do not care. What is it that takes to drive this away? The question and the answer seem boring.

To Hell

Go to Hell.

I knew she could be rude and yet, I did not expect it from her. I have been in several occassions before wherein these words were used; times, when I was at the giving end and times, at the receiving end. It never hurt using them and it neither did hurt the other way. But, this time it did. It did for it was said by the one whom I loved the most and it seemed she meant what she had said.

I knew she could be rude and yet, I did not expect it from her. I do not lay a claim of being heartbroken but I would be a hypocrite if I claim of not being sad. It saddens me that things turned this way. From being my good friend's sister to my friend to my best girl friend to being the one I was in love with, I have always known she could be rude. At the same time, I have always heard from her that she loved me like no one else. Did it make me happy? It made me more than happy and I did one mistake in life, I took someone for granted. But, it never occured to me that one day I might be at the receiving end, one day she might have a change of heart.

I knew she could be rude and yet, I did not expect it from her. She did have a change of heart, supposedly triggered by a disappearance act by me for a week. Together or not, I cannot stop loving her and perhaps , she does know that. Yet, it does not make me less stupid when I could not overcome my concern for her and I made a call. And perhaps, I got what was due, being told "Go to Hell." I knew she could be rude and yet, I did not expect it from her.

My story

This is my story. My (him) story would mean nothing else but my story for others will always remain others. I don't give a fuck about other's story.

The run up:

10 months ago:
Her: Do you love me?
Him: Yes. I do.
Her: Do you really mean what you say?
Him: Yes. I do.

8 months ago:
Him: Do you love me?
Her: I love you like I love no one else.
Him: I would continue to love you even if you hate me some day.
Her: Me and hate you? You are perhaps the only one person whom I would chase and thrash up if you ever plan to leave me.
Him: I love you.
Her: I miss you.

6 months ago:
Him: I am in love with you.
Her: I want to say yes right away but ....
Him: Take your time but say yes.
Him: I love you.
Her: I love you.
Him: Muuaah
Her: Muuaah

Few days later:
Him: Come down soon.
Her: I have not yet committed myself yet.
Him: Just a matter of time, or else I will kidnap you.
Her: ":P" Let's see.
Him: I miss you.
Her: I miss you.

5 months ago:
Him: Many Happy returns of the day.
Her: Thanks.
Him: I love you.
Her: Hmmm

4 months ago:
Her: I am not comfortable with this.
Another: Why don't you talk to him.
...............................................................
Another: Her is not comfortable.
Him: Well, okie.
Him: But, why? Have we not been talking the same way we used to.
Another: Hmmm
Him: Fine. I will do something.

A week later:
Him: I cannot go on this way and be what I am not. I love you.

Nearly a month ago:
Her: Need to talk to you.
Him: Hmmm
Her: You disappeared in the pretext of giving me space.
Him: I was away for a week.
Her: I was worried about you for a WEEK.
Him: I did disappearance acts earlier too.
Her: Accepted. But, I cannot feel close anymore after what happened.
Her: Your style of giving me space sucks.
Her: I cannot be your close friend anymore.
Him: No matter what, I love you.

Now:

Him: Reads something "her" has written.
Him: Can you log in?
Her: What?
Him: What happened?
Her: I dont want to talk about it.
Him: You are crazy.
Her: I dont want this crap from you.
Her: Go to Hell.
Him: My mistake. Accepted.


Right Now:
Others will always remain others.
Disagree with me? Fuck off.