How lonely... how treacherous...

NewYork Nagaram urangum neram thanimai adarnthathu
Paniyum Padarthathu..Kappal irangiye kaatrum karayil nadanthathu
Naangu kannadi suvarkalukule naanum meluguvarthy
Thanimai Thanimayo..Thanimai Thanimayo..kodumai kodumaiyo

ohhh.ohh..ohoh..oho..ohh

pechellam thaalatu pola.. ennai uranga vaika nee illai..
dinamum oru muttham thanthu kaalai coffee koduka nee illai..
Vizhyil vizhum thoosi thannai.. eduka neeingu illai
manathil ezhum kuzhappam thannai theerka neeingu illaiii.
Naan inge neeyum ange..intha thanimai nimishangal varusham aanatheno
Vaan inge neelam ange intha uvamaiku iruvarum vizhakamanthu eno..

The translation is not as flowery and as romantic as the original is. The original is one of the best songs I have heard recently.

In the moment when New York city went to sleep, loneliness caught me.. And snow spread all over. (It was so lonely that) Even the breeze got down from the ship and started walking on shores! Inside the four glass walls, me and a candlelight

How lonely... how treacherous...

Oh beloved, you are not here to put me to sleep with the lullaby talk of yours. You are not here to kiss me in moonlight and give me coffee in the morning. You are not here to blow my eyes when dirt falls into my eyes. You are not here to clear the confusions of my heart. I'm here & you are there, In this loneliness, minutes have become years!. The sky is here & the color blue is there, Why did we become an example to that simile?!

Courtesy Vijay

I lied.

It has been quite a while since I lied to her. I don't even remember the last thing I lied about to her.

Whenever I see an argument about to happen, I have always been on the offensive. I have always tried to show my actions as an effect of some cause, but I never tried to cover up things I have done. However, this time I tried to evade the argument and I lied. I don't understand why I did that but my instant reaction was to cover it up. I did send her a solitary message admitting that I lied. Yet, I do not understand the reason for my initial and later reactions.

25 - 2 - 13 - 2

Well, those were no measurements. It explains Twenty Five years, Two relationships, Thirteen flings, and Two heart breaks. Yet I don't seem to have had enough of it.

It has been barely three months since I have had a heartbreak and come next week I would most likely date a girl I met not quite so long ago. It has been the way life has been, for nearly a decade now. Yet I don't seem to have had enough of it.

It is not that I didn't want to be committed or have had no chance of it. The ones to whom I wanted be committed(none at the same time) to, either broke the relationship or spurned it. I have had my share of girls who declared their readiness to be committed and yet I showed no inclination. But, the one thing that worries me is a break-up does not bring any grief or sadness as it should. Either a fling or a relationship, I seem to react alike. Barely a week and everything just disappears. It does flash at times but it doesn't hurt. Rather, worryingly the thought of a new girl creeps in. The count of girls in my life so far has been sixteen and still counting. Yet I don't seem to have had enough of it.

It is not that I seek pleasure in a new fling. At times it hurts that I come across as one who is not sincere or loyal towards his girls. This is not the truth. I am loyal to one as long as we are together even if its a fling. And once broke-up I do not see any urge whatsoever and I prefer total abstinence from that girl. But, the real problem has been that the break-ups have come quite too often with many flings and relationships. This is where it hurts. Yet I don't seem to have had enough of it.

Eventful, Yeah.

If there were people who no more exist in my life, there are those whom I would always want in my life. I have made many friends in life and each of them is important to me in their own way. Here is to few of them:

Kirri: He is my best friend; that should say everything. He is been there to support whenever I asked and whenever I have not asked. He has just been there and yet he would not make it obvious. I trust him with my life.

Pooji: Everyone has a reason to happy forever. I won’t need any other reason apart from her being my friend. 99% of our conversations would not make any sense, at times even to both of us. Yet, there is a bonding, which keeps climbing as if there is no roof; how I wish there is no end to it.

Vicky: Man, I never thought an emotional guy would turn my best friend. For someone who is so bloody detached to those around, I am surprised that this guy means a lot to me, more than what I ever said. He has been the wall of support, which I never knew existed until I walked few paces away. They don’t make any more Vikram and the one who exists is my best friend.

Gopi: We hardly talk. We hardly meet. We hardly know what’s happening in each other’s lives. That is until everything is going good. Gopi is one of those rarest guys who would love to sit back and take a nap while everything’s going good. A small indication of things not being good, he is right there in the front out to repair things. I am certainly lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.

Prashanth: Jaggu, as Macha and I call him, is my only alter ego around. Yes, he disagrees to this and goes on to ponder about how ridiculously similar we are. If it weren’t this guy I wouldn’t know my flaws. If it weren’t this guy I wouldn’t know my strengths.

And the list just does not seem to end courtesy the wonderful people around me, how can I not mention, Tarun, Madhuri, Tryphy, Macha, Rajesh, Ramu, Rocky, and Shashi. I cannot ask for more to be happy, for I am the happiest around.

Eventful?

Life has always been eventful, but about the people who stormed in and out of my life, its been the past two years, the most eventful. I have made several new acquaintances, many of them turning friends, but the same time old friends, quite a few of them, disappeared, either owing to their decision or my decision. Here is to few of them:

RR: What do I say about this girl? If I were to miss any of those who disappeared, it is this amazing girl. The smile, the smack talk, and the ever failing sarcasm coupled with her emotional outbursts is what describe her. If I were to change something about her and me, I should have tried being more honest than I was.

AJ: My first love, she had the courage to say yes when I asked her in the middle of a class of 300 students "Shall we Elope?". I haven't met a better person yet and I am eager to for the void she has left is too big.

PD: I haven't known her for long, but there was that spark in her that made her an amazing female. I had a respect for her and the friendship between us like I have for few others. Yet, an ugly rumor started by someone who was close to both of us spoiled nearly everything.

HV: Yes, she does bring a sad, bad memory yet for the time we were together she was the one I always wanted. Bubbly, intelligent, Witty, Emotional yet Strong. It was one helluva ride, the time we were together.

TN: We work together but there's nothing beyond it, we are no more the best friends we used to be. Once termed examples for friendship, it broke away, partly due to HV and partly due to other reasons.

And if I talk of the others there are many but those who stand out are quite few. They don't make many of Santosh, Kalpana, Ragzie, and Pratima.